Thursday, November 21, 2013

Where have I been?????

Well, I've been MIA....for way too long.

I don't even have a real excuse really. I have been pretty busy the past year. I finished my Bachelor's Degree in English, I've started into a Masters of Special Education degree program, I've taken the leap of faith and quit my full-time stable office job to begin substitute teaching in my local school districts, moved, I missed last year's LDStorymakers Conference, and any number of other things could be blamed. But honestly, as my husband so direct and unsugarcoated as he can be stated, it is my lack of making it a priority.

I have to acknowledge his wisdom on this one. Even though I HATE to admit it when he is right...

I was reading a facebook post from an author that I follow which announced yet another book being released soon. That makes 4 in the last two years. I say to my husband, who is sitting right next to me at the time, "How can she find the time to work full-time as a teacher, raise her family, and still publish FOUR books so close together?" His immediate and very direct response, "Because I'm sure she makes it a priority, treats it like a job and not a hobby?" I felt so deflated, with no rational argument to defend myself. Everything that I spouted off...I'm so busy, I'm so tired from working and school, you're not supportive enough.....all of them are really just excuses. Excuses I'm allowing to dictate my priority schedule for me. I seem to have enough time to catch up on my favorite TV shows...Sleepy Hollow, Witches of East End, Blacklist, The Originals, Hostages, The Tomorrow People, Vampire Diaries (though this one is starting to irritate me, but that is a WHOLE other post). And now that I'm working part-time ( if at all ), I really have no excuse for not finding at least one hour a day to work on my writing.

A couple of days ago, I revisited a work in progress (WIP). I started at the beginning and read straight through the 11 chapters I've written. At the end, I actually remember thinking to myself, Who wrote this? I hadn't remembered every detail that had been written and was pleasantly surprised with myself. Now, of course, it is most likely complete and utter CRAP, but I liked it. And, most importantly, it reminded me that I liked writing. I enjoy creating a story. I have to make a decision. Am I going to make it a priority?

YES I AM!!!!!

After attending the prior 3 years, I missed the 2013 LDStorymakers conference and I was SO bummed. Though it is just one weekend, three days of writing overload, it resonates all year long helping to motivate and encourage. I didn't realize how much I missed it last year.


Step Two - I'm going to commit to one hour every morning for the next three weeks. 21 days!!! That's what they say, right? 21 days to create a habit.

Step Three - STOP Judging myself. I'm my own worst critic. This step will be a work in progress, but I have to develop more confidence in myself. Give myself permission to pursue this passion.

Wish Me Luck!!!!!